So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
