i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
