so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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