I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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