I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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