I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
