I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
