I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
