He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
