What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
