I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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