There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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