I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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