good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
