I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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