Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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