I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
