sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
