Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize