we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i've created a new STD.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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