meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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