these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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