He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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