my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
