ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You can't motorboat a personality
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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