when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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