three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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