So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
