My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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