Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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