I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
