You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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