you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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