honey bunches of taint.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
