I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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