it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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