i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
