I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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