So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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