He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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