Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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