Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
