tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
