Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize