matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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