dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
