Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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