You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
