Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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