I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
