is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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