so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
