Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
