I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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