I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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