Girls should come with a carfax report
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
