he wants to bone in the snuggie
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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