how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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