You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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