well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
